Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Provision with a side of patience

Sticky notes and scraps of paper are littering my room, among the leftover college packing that has yet to take place. I kept telling myself that I would take care of the lists and the debris when I knew what was happening in the fall, such as if I was going to move or stay in my parents' house... Such dilemmas froze all motivation for cleanliness.
Unfortunately for the piles that have found residence for the past month, the time has come to cleanse.
Yes.
Looking back at the past 6 months, there are a few emotions that were always on the surface: anxiety, frustration, anticipation, and resignation. Rarely found clumped together in a sentence, I'm sure that I am not the only college grad who understands the relationship between them. I resigned myself to not finding a job. Slipping back into the job I held for 6 years, I lamented the backsliding motion of settling into my high school self/motions. My mother's encouragement prompted me to keep applying, but I convinced myself that there was no way I was going to find a teaching job in this market. The half-hearted attempts became full-hearted when I heard back from a middle school. An interview and a week later, I was in my car, shaking as I called the principal back and found that I had a job. Not only was my conundrum ordered into retreat but I could also, finally, tell people what I am doing with my degree!
A prime metaphor for this situation is this: I recently "inherited" quite a few household items, ones that I had not possessed before. Things like sturdy pots, pans, a blender, a mixer, a juicer, cutting boards, etc, now join the post-college clutter in my parents' house as well as my brother's. Obviously my parents don't need those things... they've been functioning in their kitchen without my help for quite some time. Possessing practical household items is as exciting for me as it is frustrating. I have no place nor opportunity to use said things. I have to wait. I have to wait to use the bittersweet blessing that God provided when I did not even ask. To a planner, this is immensely frustrating. This entire experience has, and will continue to be, a huge learning opportunity for me, myself, and I. Let's hope that it doesn't drag out for too long... otherwise I might start a household wares sales business as my other part-time job...

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