Henna hope

Sunshine that stretches from the blue sky and reaches your skin... it's just what we all needed. The spring in Indiana has taken a while to arrive and it is still skittish but I'm thankful it showed up today. I felt like I was shrinking inside (and I realize that this seems dramatic) and the sun reminded me that I am not dying at all. I am very much alive and in love with life and the Redeemer.

In catching up with people, what with Spring Break and other events, I realized that the two weeks since returning to Indiana from Colorado have not been my finest. In fact, when I was with a friend, she commented on how she was sorry we didn't get to talk more about what was going on in my life and I said, "Oh. That's fine! I haven't really liked myself lately, so we'll post-pone the summary until later!"

For instance, I was telling someone about a banquet I attended and I commented about how pointless and shallow events like that are... The girl looked at me and said, "Wow, you are so jaded."

I think it's funny that I was able to recognize the fact that I didn't like myself. What in the world happened? How did the small things overtake the bigger picture? I think we all know the answer to that question. The beautiful thing that pops out at me, though, is the little notes of love and encouragement that God provided through friends and situations. I definitely did not deserve to be encouraged or patted on the back for anything that happened in the past two weeks (because, let's remind ourselves, I wasn't a likable person).

I had the great reminder that He provides hope through the mire. I realize that my life is not the muggiest mire, but I also realize that problems are problems and it's important to take things in perspective. These past few days, the word "hope" has repeatedly come into conversations or readings or even academic themes. Weird. You would think that God was trying to get through to me. In my cynicism and sarcasm, you would think that "hope" would be the last thing that would get my attention, but it has. I was doing henna tattoos with my roommate and I decided to write "hope" on the inside of my wrist. The results were incredible. (Please tell me you read that with the voice of a salesperson on those infomercials.) Joking aside for a moment, the word on my wrist has caught my attention and convicted me several times. Amazing how that happens.

Today in church, we read Genesis 16 and the pastor contrasted the promises of God with the things he calls us to do. Now, this was specifically for Abram and Sarai, but it was interesting to note how the promise of God gives us hope and we have to hold onto that hope throughout the waiting, and while doing the things he has called us to do. Abram and Sarai waited for so long to see the manifestation of God's promise... I haven't had to wait nearly half that amount of time yet for things that I believe God has "promised" so I need to hold onto that hope, continuing to live in the calling He has given.

So, until the henna fades from my wrist, I will be visually reminded of the hope He gives to us... and hopefully I can remember it when the word is gone from my wrist. It's amazing how easily it is forgotten in a jaded world.